Exposing The Leak Around The World

Ok let me try this again. First I am an 18 yold girl and really pretty normal i think except that I have sexual fantacies about my dad. it has become more an addiction to masturbation now. here are some things i know caused this after reading some about the electra complex. when i was 11 my dad divorced my mom and got custody of me - she was a stripper and into drugs. we had to move into a 1 room apartment and we slept in the same bed for over a year. the bathroom was next to the bedroom and when my dad would take a shower at night i would peek in through the door cuz it had no lock. i was curious to see his thing. this became a nightly thing and my dad did not know. i began to have sexual desires for him and think about sex alot. a few months later i found a video tape in a taped up box - it was a home video they made having sex. it was summer and i watched it every day for like a month and stated to masturbate. i did have this feeling of taking my moms place for him. sleeping together made this worse. by now i was very developed and like sleeping in my bra and panties and i would masturbate at night when he was asleep hoping he would wake up but very scared he would reject me. soon he made me wear a nite shirt to bed but my feeling got more intense. other things happened that i dont want to go into right now but my dad saw what was happening and we finally moved to a new place with my own room. this made it worse for me cuz i could masturbate constantly having all these wild thoughts of wut would happen with him. we did talk about sex but kinda danced around this and i never told him how i really felt. at school i was a cheerleader and into sports and stuff and did good in school but like had this secret. all the boys wanted to date me - well have sex with me and i did try but i could only think about my dad. i wanted to loose my virginity to him. i made up a story that i had a bf that lived in another state to keep guys from asking me out and experimented with other girls. my dad began to wonder about this and we had many talks about sex and stuff. I was doing everything to turn him on like letting him catch me naked in my bed room and wearing revealing clothes at night - my dad had never dated another girl cuz of me and I felt bad for him. I did other things that i dont wanna talk about that kinda forced my dad to stop drinking and he sent me to talk to a counselor. I lied to her and that did not help. i just graduated and live with him and i start college in the fall and we dont really talk about it anymore but i know he has sexual feelings for me but he wont admit it. last week i asked him if i could try dancing at this strip club - its panties and pasties. he did not like the idea and since i dont have a car he would have to take me there or i would find a ride myself with or with out his permission. he finally said ok and my first night is this friday so who knows wut will happen - i am so nervous. so i have many issues, my sexual addiction to my dad, masturbation - 7 or 8 times a day, bisexuality and my worry i will never get over this and how this is affecting him. i cant change the past. i doubt many girls feel this way or can understand how i feel but at least i finally said all this.